>The Bad Word



I love to cook. I do not like to bake. I said I like to cook and baking is not cooking.

And when I have taken all my stress and frustrations out on ponding the chicken or chopping my onions which usually results in some tears and a few extra ones added maybe a little sobbing too. I am thankful for the excuse of the onion I am unashamedly crying.

It was the onion hello.

Ok so I feel better and proceed with many thoughts and prayers combined while tossing in the salt and pepper. 

aahhh it is all just so therapeutic for me. I do have to wonder at times that my food comes out tasting good since my thoughts could have been way out in Wyoming.

The best part tho…when my family comes running and we all sit done to dinner together. I want to sit and take it in, smell the hard work, feel the good feeling of having talked everything out to myself. The tension was left behind with the knife and chopper and now all that is left is to enjoy the results.

But no one seems to understand my journey of how it all got to the table.

The process the chicken had to endure.

The things I embraced about myself.

The only thing that matters is to put that food in the mouth.

I have never said too much about how I hate this eagerness.

But as of late we have been discussing it.

Lets be relaxed.

Lets not rush.

because then what you like so much is gone so quickly without much thought of enjoyment of it.

I suppose the kids follow what we do.

and once again (like always) parenting starts with parenting yourself.

Speaking of dinner makes me thing of a conversation we had last night around the dinner table.Doesn’t really apply to me liking to cook it just connects because it was done at dinner.

And it was funny.

Chadwin – You should never say the “F” word

nobody speaks, we are busy eating

Chadwin – Really, I know the “F”word and it is not good to say.

again for some reason nobody seems interested in the “F’ word

I think I may have said something like…OK that is fine just eat your dinner now.

Chadwin – The “F” word is fuck

and now you have all our attention…

You know he was just itching for someone to ask him what it was, surely Sarah would ask.But with no success I will just inform everybody awhile…

I dare not look at Elvin or I will split laughing and laughing in this situation would not be good.

Valorie pipes up then and said…Do you gotta say it?

My mouth is sealed, I should get up and walk away. I dare not laugh.

Elvin said something like…It is not appropriate or nice for you to have to say the “F” word.

Dinner proceeded